Decades ago, well before the Age of Reality TV in which at least part of us live, there was a show called “Battle of the Network Stars.”
Yes, if you actually check out the clip, that’s the voice of Howard Cosell and a chimpanzee wearing a sailor’s hat.
“BotNS” might be the single most dated television program ever, particularly in its format: There are only three TV networks, obviously, so having a “battle” between them in 1979 is simple. We won’t even cover the rise of liability insurance and other modern “conveniences” that would probably make such a show quite impossible today, “Dancing With the Stars” notwithstanding.
Not that that’s a bad thing. Just watch even a bit of a clip to absorb just how terrible that “show” really was.
Anyway, with news the Feds are, most likely, funding their $69m portion of Albuquerque Rapid Transit, there’s quite the “battle,” but Burque’s gonna make sure it’s anything but a battle, to implement a number of East-West multi-modal road improvements on and directly near Central Avenue. Here are our “contestants” in the rowing “battle,” in each case looking East to West.
- Lane 1: ART on Central from Coors to Louisiana
- Lane 2: Silver from Yale to Washington (bike boulevard improvements; updated webpage forthcoming)
- Lane 3: Campus Blvd from Girard to Carlisle (bike/parking improvements)
- Lane 4: West Central Avenue from 47th St. to 8th St. (engulfed by ART)
- Lane 5: MLK, Jr. Blvd. from Broadway to University (continued bike improvements as part of Mayor Berry’s “50-Mile Loop”)
- Lane 6: The intersection of Central and Unser (at the edge of, and somehow incorporated into the “mixed use” of ART): caution, funky .pdf
- Lane 7 (in adjacent pool): Bridge Boulevard from Coors Blvd. to 8th St. (also part of 50-Mile Loop)
It’s quite the list.
To go even more overboard with the Rowing Battle analogy, the City, et. al., will try to turn this multi-lane “battle” into a single rowing team of projects, with Mayor Berry as coxswain of sorts. One does not have to be a cynic to think the Mayor and Crew have something of a logistical (and yes, political)
battle puzzler on their hands. Thinking back to the fairly recent Lead/Coal renovation, looking at the list above gives one pause.
But from all accounts, none of these improvements entail the degree of disruption Lead/Coal wrought a few years back. At least that’s what “accounts” are telling us.
Those scared by change, even good changes, might want to sleep in until around 2019. By then the current multi-modal complexion of many of the streets noted above might be just as dated as “Battle of the Network Stars.”