Dear Mayor-Elect Keller:

Congratulations!

You’re now soon to be Mayor of Albuquerque at a time of great promise and just about nowhere to go but up regarding several issues. It’s a great time to become Mayor, and now that “we’ve” voted you into office (and perhaps added a City Council vote amid your runoff coattails), here’s the beginning of what will be a running, and growing, list of “things-to-do” in your new role.

Caution: You’re gonna want to pace yourself, Mayor Keller, in tackling the ever more numerous, and only somewhat prioritized, bullets below:

(Photo from Mr. Keller’s State Auditor website. As a taxpayer, I figure I can just “steal it.”)

My Things-to-Do List: Mayor Tim Keller

• Disentangle and reassert a law enforcement presence in this town in the wake of a veritable clusterfuck of incompetence, arrogance and professional cronyism.
• Take the “don’t be” lessons of Albuquerque Rapid Transit implementation/outreach and move our transportation network forward in a way that doesn’t result in facepalm reactions, even by those who favor your initiatives.
• Smooth the ruffled feathers caused by the Integrated Development Ordinance process, and use its positives to bring investment and jobs to our city, all over our city.
• Begin and continue discussion with countless citizens, neighborhood associations, business interests and others by saying “What the previous administration hired goons meant to say was…”, thus eventually undoing some of the great damage created and perpetuated by said hired goons.
• “Vision Zero” Learn it, live it, be it. To inexplicably quote “Caddyshack,” “Be the Vision Zero ball, Danny Timmy. Be the Vision Zero ball.”
• When those Westside City Councilors tell you that “big box” development will eventually lead to a hospital there, avoid laughing so hard you’re left unable to speak or take action. Instead, laugh haughtily and tell them to go to Hell.
• Re: point above. When said Councilors say anything positive about Santolina, roll eyes and threaten their set-aside money. Recite the words “Mesa del Sol” repeatedly while doing so.
• Acknowledge that Mayor Berry wasn’t nearly as evil as many who voted for you think, and that the only way we’re going to get where we need to go is by remembering and re-implementing the whole “nonpartisan” concept.
• Remember that Albuquerque is deeply, and often literally, intertwined with Bernalillo County and that, working together, we can make that relationship a feature instead of bug it currently is.
• Work really, really hard to make sure we have Michelle Lujan Grisham as our next Governor, working with her on January 2, 2019 and beyond to undo the behavioral health debacle created by our current Governor and cronies.
• Address the homelessness problem in our City through means other than simply shutting one place down and shunting the homeless elsewhere.
• Fix the intersections at countless locations around town, e.g., Montgomery and San Mateo; MLK and Broadway. In particular, fix that pothole I almost ran my bike into last night at 3rd and Coal downtown. Not to be too specific, or anything.

Again, this is the start of an ongoing list. Welcome aboard Mayor Keller. I’m hoping your check off each of the “TTDs” above as fast as we at Better Burque add to them.