We at Better Burque have long followed the saga of the ceramic planters of various size, weight, and number which have been placed in the middle/sides of the gap between parking at El Vado and what is supposed to be bike/walk-only access to/from New York Ave., just south of Central Ave. What has been a story of many twists, turns, and planters has most definitely reached some form of literary crisis point.

For what once, not too long ago, looked like this:

Now looks like this:

Some person, or persons, perhaps with the physical aid and mental handicap of alcohol, has smashed the large planter all to hell, leaving it small enough to drive through the remaining gap.

See the blue lines leading away from the spot of the crime? Those are the extremely non-MUTCD compliant marking of a “cycle track” stenciled (perhaps with paint found in one of those kids’ paint sets) to provide cycling access south and on eastward at Central and New York because Central loses it bike lane at this juncture. Riders are thus encouraged to ride a route somewhat parallel to the “bulge” in Central at/near Rio Grande Blvd. Maybe a birds’ eye view will help:

Since the child’s paint cycle track was first stenciled as part of the El Vado redevelopment in 2017/2018, there’s been a long, infrastructurally humorous series of failed attempts to prevent drivers from making their way through the gap. For instance:

And here’s what eventually ended what we might call the Two Planters & Traffic Cone Era:

The most recent subterfuge once again forces El Vado, the City, and local residents on New York Avenue to come up with a solution. While this saga is somewhat fun in that way which should make us feel guilty for laughing, two more somber observations must be made:

1. These El Vado, City, and nearby residents are going through a very sizable expenditure of time, energy, and planter expenses, all because:
2. Drivers are assholes.

And the not-so-funny thing about that is we’re kinda supposed to think it’s funny that drivers are assholes. Ha. Ha. Ha. Drivers do asshole things confirming the fact that they can be assholes. What a fucking laugh riot. The only thing salvaging any scintilla of humor here is that this asshole(s) only smashed a planter to hell, instead of a human, say, trying to ride a bike through that gap along the child’s paint set painted “cycle track.”

Ultimately, we are gonna have to truly, permanently fix this situation and install a bona fide diverter. Something along the lines of this diverter at 14th and Lomas as part of that street’s bike boulevard status:

Only in the case of the El Vado/New York Avenue gap, the curbing is gonna have to be really, really high. Asshole driver-proof tall.