As BB reinvigorates itself after a few months of job-induced slumber (employment is hugely over-rated), it’s time to reassess our blog “slogan,” which heretofore has been something along the lines of “Making Walking in Burque Safer Would Be Enchanting.” A fine sentiment, if a bit forced on the whole “Land of…” thing, the slogan has not resulted in the sought transformation of roadway safety in our community.

Folks trying to walk our roads are still dying in record numbers, and deaths to those trying to bike are creeping up at rates not seen in years. Overall traffic violence continues seemingly unabated.

It’s time for a new BB slogan, one that reflects BB’s growing awareness that we’re not even achieving incremental change and that some paradigmatic, fundamental transformation must occur before heightened safety can occur.

With this in mind, no expense has been spared to creatively devise a new slogan which we share with you now via the graphic below painstakingly crafted over four minutes of exquisitely professional use of Microsoft Paint:

Yes, the blood-red was chosen on purpose; hope you like it!

We hope to offer coffee mugs, t-shirts, and dog bandannas in the near future with this new slogan/artwork, although we regret to inform you we will not have BB’s online store up in time for this year’s holiday season. Until the online store opens and generates the hundreds of thousands of dollars needed to keep BB afloat, the design is “open-source” and anyone legally can, if they wish, say, make 25,000 labels with this design and stick them on every light pole in town. One could also, we guess, create flyers/brochure featuring this design to place between windshield and windshield wiper on every car parked in every parking spot in the City.

Mind you, these are not suggestions, only hypothetical means to build awareness for the slogan.

Most importantly, as with all slogans the hope is that this one grows in popularity enough to not only go “viral” but change human behavior. Kinda like when you started eating Life cereal only because “Mikey liked it” or spent thousands of dollars on mp3s at the Apple Store because Steve Jobs brainwashed you.

We hope to have “Drive Less & Slow the Fuck Down” on everyone’s lips as they walk, bike, bus, and drive (slowly) throughout the Duke City. We hope to see you soundlessly mouthing the slogan the next time we see you on A.R.T., or with a hand-drawn version prominently displayed on your metal lunchbox, proudly covering the original “Josey & the Pussycats” or “Wacky Racers” artwork thereon.

In other words: Hope you like the new slogan. There is a seriousness to its invention that you have been spared in this particular post, but regular readers (and thanks for being regular readers) will notice a change in tone toward more immediate, yet still transformative changes in roadway behavior.

Going slowly here at BB while drivers do exactly the opposite hasn’t worked. We’re putting our foot down on the roadway safety pedal. Thanks for coming along.